Splish, Splash, I Was Taking A Bath
by Delilah Lovett
Summary: Bubble baths with the Cullens. What crazy and ridiculous things could the Cullens be up to in a bubble bath? Read and find out! A collection of short stories of bath times. 5-shot AU OOC. Vamps. Pre-Twilight
1. Emmett: Rubber Ducks and Rosalie

**Title: **Splish Splash, I Was Taking A Bath

**Chapter 1: **Emmett: Rubber Ducks and Rosalie

**Rating: **T

**Summary: **Bubble baths with the Cullens. What crazy and ridiculous things could the Cullens be up to in a bubble bath? Read and find out! A collection of short stories of bath times.

**Type: **Canon, Vampires, Slightly OOC.

**Disclaimer:** Obviously, I own nothing, but if I did, I would definitely own bath time with the Cullen men ;)

**A/N:** I was reading a story somewhere about Emmett being his crazy self and my sister was singing the Splish Splash song, so then I started wondering what the Cullens actually do in the bath, and then these stories were born lol. I know I promised I'd work on my other stories, but they wouldn't stop bugging me. I swear I'm pretty far on real updates though :) This is also one of my first attempts at third person. Enjoy :D

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_Ah, it's sunny again. Too bad I already hunted the other night. It's summer anyway. Not like we need to be anywhere. Maybe I'll just take a bubble bath. Ooh! That sounds like lots of fun. I better grab my supplies._He thought to himself, as he ran up the stairs.

Emmett grabbed his bath time supplies and ran into the bathroom, locking the door. He knew no one would interrupt him, since almost everyone else was out and about, but it had become a habit since living with Alice.

Time and time again the small package of energy had burst in on him to inform him of the family's plans or that she would be stealing Rosalie, so now he no longer gave her easy access to his privacy.

He started the bath to a scalding temperature, loving the warmth of the water against his granite skin.

He grabbed his favorite bubble bath formula and poured it in, watching, fascinated, as the bubbles grew and spread around the tub. He wondered how people had ever figured out things would work this way, how bubbles would form without simply popping and disappearing.

Grabbing his bundle of toys, he poured them into the half-filled tub. He stripped out of his clothes and climbed in, watching as the water rose up from his body taking up space.

When the tub was filled to the height he wanted, he turned off the tap and rummaged through the bubbles for his toys. He found his favorite rubber duck, Fred.

"Fred! Oh how I've missed you. You know, I always loved that song from Sesame Street. I shall sing it for you." he said, smiling down at the yellow, plastic duck.

Holding up the duck in his hand, so that it wouldn't float away, he tapped his chin, trying to remember the tune of the song.

"Rubber ducky, you're the one. You make bath time, lots of fun. Rubber ducky, I'm awfully fond of you. Woo woo be doo." he sang, bouncing along with the beat of the song.

The water splashed across the floor, but he didn't care. He just kept singing his song.

"Rubber ducky, joy of joys. When I squeeze you, you make noise. Rubber ducky, you're my very best friend it's true." he sang, squeezing the duck appropriately.

He hummed the little chorus of 'doo doo doo doo, doo doo.'

"Every day when I make my way to the tubby, I find a little fella who's cute and yellow and—" he stopped mid-song as another thought crossed his mind.

_Rosalie's cute. She has yellow-ish hair. I wish she were here to join me._ He thought, leaning down further into the tub, forgetting momentarily about Fred.

His thoughts rampaged through the many options he would have if Rosalie were to join him, but he seemed to suffer from vampire ADD, as the song crept back into his mind.

He broke back into the "Rubber Ducky" song, apologized to Fred for neglecting him, and placed the small duck to rest on his prized toy boat, so that Fred could float about the bubbly bath like a rubber ducky king.

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**A/N:** And this, my lovely readers, is what happens when I have sugar and try to relive my childhood lmao. Hope you enjoyed my pointless story and hopefully you will enjoy the other four I have in store for you. I don't care if you do or don't, I'm writing them because I feel like it haha. You can, however, request who you would like to see the next one about, in a review. Otherwise, it's Rosalie. You can choose from Rose, Jazz, Alice, or Edward :) R&R perty please. :D

-DL


	2. Rosalie: Vanity Suits You Well

**Title: **Splish Splash, I Was Taking A Bath

**Chapter 2: **Rosalie: Vanity Suits You Well

**Rating: **T

**Summary: **Bubble baths with the Cullens. What crazy and ridiculous things could the Cullens be up to in a bubble bath? Read and find out! A collection of short stories of bath times.

**Type: **Canon, Vampires, Slightly OOC.

**Disclaimer:** Obviously, I own nothing, but if I did, I would definitely own bath time with the Cullen men ;)

**A/N:** More attempts at third person and bubble bath times. This time it's Rosalie turn and she's a bit more sad than Emmett. Then again, when has she ever been a bag of fun, aside from Breaking Dawn and her firing off at Jacob lol. I'm writing these because I like them :P Enjoy :D

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_I don't feel like going to school. It's just review for finals anyway. Junior year is such a bore, but at least I'm closer to being out of school...again._ Rosalie thought to herself, rolling her eyes.

She understood why Carlisle kept putting her, and all of them, through school, so that they wouldn't have to move as often, but it didn't keep her from hating every minute of her high school years.

Esme had given her the okay to skip because she knew that going through school over and over again could get very monotonous and quite possibly drive a vampire crazy. She also knew how much harder it was for Rosalie, knowing how much she wished she wasn't one of them and had a human family of her own.

Rosalie, not wanting to waste her day off, went directly to her large bathroom to run a comfortable bath. It was relaxing and it let her think clearly. Plus, she wouldn't have to worry about Edward's interference into her thoughts, since he was actually at school.

She ran the bath at a comfortable temperature and poured in some smelly bubble bath mixture she normally used. Judging by the fact that it was already half empty, Emmett had gotten a hold of it as well. She would punish him later.

She pulled off her clothes from the night before and climbed into the tub. Some of the bubbles fluffed into the air around her. She smiled a smug smile as she slid down into the water, immersing herself completely before sitting back up.

She stared around her large bathroom. It was one of the few places she liked to relax and one of the many places she shared with Emmett. She loved Emmett dearly, but at times she needed to be by herself. She often thought about what life would have been like if she had just settled down like her old friend Vera.

She imagined a beautiful baby in her arms. She thought about what it would have been like to have met Emmett as a human and had his child. They would've had a beautiful baby girl with soft blond curls and bit blue, eyes. Or maybe they would have had a handsome baby boy with long, brown hair and her human blue eyes with violet flecks.

She wondered what it would be like to grow old, to watch her children grow up, to see them bring her grandchildren, to die.

At times she regretted being brought into this life, but she didn't think she could give up the love she had for Emmett. She smiled as she thought about her vampire husband, twirling her fingers in the bubbles around her. She picked up a handful of bubbles and looked at them.

Her reflection stared back at her as if she were looking at fly eyes. She always knew her beauty and knowing she was even an object of jealousy in the vampire world, gave her at least a small feeling of superbness.

_If this life ever gave me something or let me keep something from my humanity, it was my incomparable beauty._ She thought, staring into the bubbles. They were like little mirrors. Often, throughout the day, whether in the tub or otherwise, she would stop to look at herself, remind herself why she was okay with this life, when being around all the humans got her down.

She blew the bubbles out of her hand, watching them dance through the air gracefully. She closed her eyes, never wishing for sleep more than in these rare moments. She wished for tears and sleep and hunger, things she could only have as a human.

When the tears and sleep and hunger did not come, she sighed and sat up. She blew at the bubbles before her, wishing she could fly away with them. It was one of the few talents vampires didn't have.

_Figures. Even in this forbidden lifestyle, I can't have the one ability I would want to use._ She thought, chuckling darkly.

_At least I have Emmett._ She thought before sinking back under the water.

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**A/N:** Sorry if it was kinda dark. That's Rosalie for ya. I really liked writing this. She's vain, but really, to me, it's her escape from having to think what keeping the beauty meant compared to what was given up. I liked it. Tell me if you did too. :D R&R. Next is Jasper unless you tell me someone else. There are only 3 left. Lol.

-DL


	3. Jasper: GI Joes is Serious Business

**Title: **Splish Splash, I Was Taking A Bath

**Chapter 3: **Jasper: G.I. Joes is Serious Business

**Rating: **T

**Summary: **Bubble baths with the Cullens. What crazy and ridiculous things could the Cullens be up to in a bubble bath? Read and find out! A collection of short stories of bath times.

**Type: **Canon, Vampires, Slightly OOC.

**Disclaimer:** Obviously, I own nothing, but if I did, I would definitely own bath time with the Cullen men ;)

**A/N:** Jasper is such an interesting character. He always seems so uptight, I decided to give him some relaxation time and a little bit of fun. Hope you like! Enjoy :D ( I can totally imagine the different voices haha)

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"Rosalie and I are going shopping. We'll be back in an hour." Alice told Jasper before she kissed him goodbye and skipped out the door with Rosalie in tow.

"Bye." he said before turning and going up the stairs.

He rubbed his hands together in a mischievous manner. He ran swiftly up the stairs, knowing exactly what he would be doing during this fine summer day.

He snuck into the bathroom he shared with Alice and reached in the back of his favorite cabinet. He grabbed a small chest and pulled it out. His eyes lit up with delight once he pulled the key to the chest out of his front pocket.

Once he opened the chest, he could gaze down excitedly at all the toy soldiers and ships and poured them haphazardly into the tub. He started to fill the tub with warm water and bubbles, then flipped on the jets. Alice always did love a jacuzzi tub.

The tub was soon filled and he climbed in, putting on a serious demeanor.

"Alright men. This is serious business. We are fighting a war. Are you ready?" he asked the small red soldiers he was holding, in a deep voice.

"Yes, sir." he replied to himself in a smaller voice.

He did a whisper-shout battle cry and made the little soldiers rush towards the green soldiers floating on a nearby boat. The toys were flung around the bath, some drowning in a sea of bubbles. He made booms and crashes and other assorted noises while he played pretend battle. He brought one of the little red guys back.

"Major Whitlock, sir!" he play-shouted in that small voice

"Yes, soldier?" the deep voice asked.

"We're losing men like crazy out there! We can't even find the bodies!" the small voice said, panic easily detected.

"Soldier. My men do not surrender in war. To die in this battle is to die an honorable death, so get out there and fight!" the deep voice boomed authoritatively.

He made the little soldier pretend to salute him and smiled to himself. He remembered how empowered he had felt when he was in charge in his war. He continued to make the soldiers fight until all but two were missing in the mass of bubbles.

"Sir! We did it, sir! We won the war!" the small voice said, as he made the little soldiers dance and jump around.

"I knew you could do it men." he said in that deep voice before laying them down on the floating boats, and laying back in the tub.

_Ahh I remember what it felt like to battle in the civil war. Hell, even fighting in the newborn wars was exhilarating. What I wouldn't give to be involved in another tactical fight. Maybe we can do something to provoke the wolves._ He thought, chuckling to himself.

He knew he couldn't really provoke the wolves without ticking off his entire family. Plus, he didn't even know if they were still there. Edward had told him about the earlier generation, but they didn't know anything about the present situation, nor were they allowed to cross the sacred boundary in order to find out.

Collecting all the toy soldiers off the bottom of the tub, he piled them back into the chest, turned the jets on full blast, and leaned back into the water.

_Oh, how I love the tub._ He thought before letting out a contented sigh.

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**A/N:** Woot. Got Jasper done. I just figured he'd be the kind to use his toys as an escape to an old reality. He was in a few wars, so why not have war toys? It's only logical lol. Next is Edward, then Alice. For the last time, this is Pre-Twilight, so there is no Bella. I'm still deciding whether or not I will bring in the idea of her or something, but she will not have a chapter of her own. I only meant for this to be a Cullen Kids thing. If you couldn't tell, which it's kind of hard to, the stories are going progressively. Emmett was the summer before his Junior year in Forks. Rosalie was during her Junior year in Forks. Jasper is summer before his Senior Year in Forks. The next two will take place during the time just before Twilight, but again, Bella will not have a chapter of her own and may or may not only make a brief appearance. Thanks for the wonderful response to this very random story. IWYF will be updated very soon. It's only got about a paragraph or two left until it is done, so be on the lookout for that. I'm trying very hard to get TAOOD updated soon, as well. I really hope by the end of this month, I can get it updated. Thanks for reading, now it'd be great if you took a little time to review by clicking that little button down there :P Thanks a lot!

-DL


	4. Edward: Symphonies of Air Guitars

**Title: **Splish Splash, I Was Taking A Bath

**Chapter 4: **Edward: Symphonies of Air Guitars

**Rating: **T

**Summary: **Bubble baths with the Cullens. What crazy and ridiculous things could the Cullens be up to in a bubble bath? Read and find out! A collection of short stories of bath times. **_Pre-Twilight and Chronological Events_**

**Type: **Canon, Vampires, Slightly OOC.

**Disclaimer:** Obviously, I own nothing, but if I did, I would definitely own bath time with the Cullen men ;)

**A/N:** So I thought I would have some fun with Emoward and give him some time to be a little more fun and exciting. Be prepared for Bubbleward. Lol.

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It was Thanksgiving weekend again. The holiday amused him, now that he no longer needed to eat. He had convinced Carlisle to take everyone up to visit the Denali clan for the weekend.

_Have fun, Edward._ Alice thought, knowing he would hear her.

"I'll try." Edward responded, already smiling, with ideas for his weekend alone.

He was glad to miss out on going to Denali. As much as he found them great friends, having to deal with Tanya's thoughts of trying to convince him to be her mate was something he did not feel like facing again.

He took the stairs two at a time and walked into his room. The only thing with getting the room with the best view, is he didn't have the best bathroom. He had a glass shower stall with several massaging shower heads that he had installed, but the bath was more of a shower bath. It was comfortable enough, but he still needed to have Esmé help him get a jacuzzi tub of his own.

He walked over to his tub and pulled aside the curtain. He smiled crookedly at what he saw. His plastic, blow-up guitar was still in the bucket attached to the back wall. The bucket also held assorted bath markers of various colors.

He turned on the water and made sure his bubble machine was fastened to the bottom of the tub. He poured in the bubble liquid and excitedly stripped away his clothes. He got into the tub early, watching the bubbles rise faster than than the water. This was why he loved the bubble mat.

He pulled everything out of the bucket, leaving the guitar floating in the water and placing the bath markers on the lip of the tub. He leaned his head against the back wall until the water was at a sufficient level and turned off the knob with his foot.

"What shall I do today?" he asked to no one in particular.

The bubbles had now made a wall that reached above his head, but were now contained in the tub by the shower doors and surrounding walls. He carved out an entrance to the bubbles so he get inside the frail, warm cavern and plan what to do. As he sat inside, feeling like a small boy hiding in a blanket fortress, he thought about what could be done with the toys he had on hand. He was feeling musical and decided on some kind of song to play around with.

A song came to mind and he chuckled to himself. _How fitting, _he thought, emerging from the bubble barrier and taking hold of the bath markers.

He wiped down one of the shower doors so he would have plenty of space to draw. He quickly drew out all the notes of the song, smiling to himself when he finished. He had done all the tabs for the song. _Show time, _he thought, throwing the markers down into the bath and picking up the guitar. He looked at the notes and began to pretend to play.

"Splish, splash, I was taking a bath, long about a _Thursday_ night!" he started, smug with his improv.

"Rub dub, just relaxing in the tub, thinking everything was alright." he continued to sing.

He was really getting into the song, flailing around the poor, blow-up guitar.

"Well, I stepped out of the tub, put my feet on the floor, I wrapped the towel around me and I opened the door, and then I, splish, splash, I jumped back in the bath. Well how was I to know there was a party going on?"

He was getting quite riled up, bubbles were drifting in loose grips around the tub and he was only barely in the beginning of the song.

"They were a-splishin' and a-splashin', reelin' with the feelin', movin' with the groovin' rockin' and a-rollin', yeahhhhhh!"

He was now jumping around the tub lithely and had he been human, he surely would've wiped out.

"Bing, bang, I saw the whole gang, dancin' on my living room rug, yeah!" he sang in a rougher voice, jumping out of the tub covered in bubbles and still holding the plastic—now almost deflated—guitar.

"Flip, flop, they was doin' the bop, all the teens had the dancin', but there was a lollipop with Peggy Sue. Good golly, Miss Molly was a-even there, too!"

He slipped and slid across the bathroom floor. Thoughts were slowly creeping into his head, but he was too into the song to pay any attention to them.

"A well-a, splish, splash, I forgot about the bath. I went and put my dancin' shoes on, yeahhh..."

Before he continued, he was interrupted by booming laughter.

"Oh, Eddie...this is what you do when we're gone?" he heard Emmett's voice through the door.

"What are you doing back?" Edward asked, feeling embarrassed at being caught.

"I forgot something I had promised to bring Tanya, so Emmett and I came back real quick. Carry on." he heard Rosalie say, followed by her feminine laughter.

Edward trudged back to the bath and climbed in, desperately trying to drown himself, even tough he knew it was useless.

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**A/N: **Omg. School has been killing me. You have no idea. It's only going to get worse until June comes along and I'm out for summer. Creative writing has been quite time consuming, plus I got a baby kitten. She's only a month old so we're still bottle-feeding/weaning her. Right now she's sick and I've been having a horrible day, but to get my mind off of it, I finally wrote this out. So I guess that's a plus for you guys that read this haha. Anyway, Alice should be coming out quite soon because it's very short and that will complete this mini-series. Hope you guys enjoyed this. R&R and make my day a little better please. If you care about what went wrong today, just ask in a PM. I won't bore you all with it in my AN lol. Alright, see ya.

-DL


	5. Alice: Crystal Bubble of Fate

**Title: **Splish Splash, I Was Taking A Bath

**Chapter 5: **Alice: Crystal Bubble of Fate

**Rating: **T

**Summary: **Bubble baths with the Cullens. What crazy and ridiculous things could the Cullens be up to in a bubble bath? Read and find out! A collection of short stories of bath times. **_Pre-Twilight and Chronological Events_**

**Type: **Canon, Vampires, Slightly OOC.

**Disclaimer:** Obviously, I own nothing, but if I did, I would definitely own bath time with the Cullen men ;)

**A/N:** I thought having all the shots being connected by all leading up to Twilight was a cool idea. Hopefully, you will enjoy how Alice brings us closer to the story we all know and love. :D

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The chilly January air did nothing to her impervious skin. She smiled as the snow-filled wind lifted her short hair. She missed her long hair, but not enough to want to trade Jasper and her new life for it.

"Alice! Are you coming?" Jasper said from the doorway behind her.

"No. I think I'll skip this trip. We can go again before class starts back up." Alice replied, giving him a smile and a wink.

He smiled back and turned around to tell the others it was okay to go.

Alice wandered back into the house from the balcony she had been enjoying. She caught Jasper, as he was running back to say goodbye for the next day and a half. She kissed his cheek and told him to relax and have fun. She knew control would eventually become as easy for him as it was for the rest of the family.

"You'll get used to this lifestyle soon. Stop worrying. I've seen it." she said, trying to assure him.

Her words seemed to ease his mind and he kissed her forehead before leaving with the family. She walked delicately into the bathroom with her big, fluffy towel. She loved the way it would envelope her tiny body in its warmth.

She filled the tub, making sure there were plenty of bubbles. She loved playing with the bubbles. When it was ready to her liking, she grabbed the couple of Barbies she owned and climbed into the tub. The large tub swallowed her up, causing her to giggle.

"All right, since Rose only lets me dress her up so many times, all I have is you two and you can't run away." she excitedly told her dolls.

She slipped the naked plastic under the water and brought them back up under particularly full clusters of bubbles.

"Oh those dresses look fabulous dahlings. You should be in my show this year." she said, trying to sound like a snooty, designer-lady voice.

"We'll do the show on one condition." she imitated a nasally voice that she was familiar with from school, for the doll voice.

"And what would that be dahlings?" snooty designer voice said.

"Tell our futures!" the nasal voice demanded.

She nodded and set them on the lip of the tub and dipped her hand in the soapy water, making sure she had enough soap to make a bubble. She made a fist and slowly unfurled it to make an "OK" gesture, seeing the small film of bubbles in the space between her index and thumb. She blew softly to create a decent sized bubble and held it in her hands, careful not to let it pop.

"Let me look into my crystal bubble." she said, trying to sound like a gypsy.

She looked intently at the bubble, pretending she saw something, but then her eyes really did glaze over with a vision of one of her family members' futures. She saw herself at school in the not too distant future. There was a new girl there. Long brain hair, deep, soulful, brown eyes, shy, and cautious. She looked frail, yet beautiful. She could tell this girl would be important to her family. It skipped ahead to somewhere else. The girl was with Edward. He heard her name in a whisper from his lips before he leaned down to bite her, to change her.

She came out of her daze with a smile on her face. Edward would finally have his mate. He wouldn't be his old brooding self. He would find love, happiness, completion. All thanks could be given to this one human girl, who, apparently, was arriving shortly.

"Bella."

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**A/N:** I know it is super short, but I couldn't really think of a way to add to it without making it drag on or spend too much time out of the bath. I really like how this ended. Hopefully you enjoyed my little bath series and will also read my other stories. Thanks for reading! Please leave a review. :D

-DL


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